He accepted everything he was given and was equally grateful, not just for the bread and money but for the hits and kicks. He knew that he deserved it all. There was no bigger sinner than him, Simon from Bethsaida, no person on Earth. Any bandit, thief, or squanderer is better, more worthy than him.
Such despair encompassed him that, coming to the deserted grove, he took off his belt and tied it into a noose more than once.